In any sport, be it horseback riding or football or golf, some people are going to fall into the category of overly competitive. Rather than supporting teammates and opponents and congratulating winners, they sulk over their losses and gloat condescendingly over their triumphs.
This is an issue that I’ve dealt with many times over the years, and I’m not ashamed to admit a few mistakes. Since I grew up at a stable where no one was competitive with anyone else, this aspect of the equestrian culture came as a bit of a shock.
Some students do not like to lose, and many of them have no idea how to handle their jealousy and desire to dominate.
Recognizing Problems
The first thing riding instructors need to do is identify issues with competitiveness. Unfortunately, there are some innate differences between adults and children/teenagers, and this problem occurs most often with the latter. We are sometimes oblivious to the subtle issues plaguing younger generations.
Start looking for signs that your students are too competitive. Taunting, teasing, insults and cruel laughter are a few of the most common red flags, but it is often far more subtle than that.
For example, I had one student who wouldn’t talk to other riders who beat her in the show ring. It was sometimes weeks before she’d get over her hurt feelings, lick her wounds and come crawling back to the fold. Not only was this distressing for the students she rejected out of hat, but she herself felt socially isolated a good portion of the time.
Another student of mine was found destroying the ribbons and trophies of her classmates when she lost at a show. She was also a thief, we discovered later, but she was surprisingly adept at sneaking into other people’s tack trunks and lockers to destroy the evidence of her failure. This was the most extreme case.
Many times, it is simply a matter of students challenging one another in a cruel or nasty way. They might make bets about who will win at a show or encourage one another to try things for which they are not yet ready. Obviously, this behavior can be dangerous.
Is Competition Healthy?
To some degree, competition between students can bring out the best performances in riders and encourage a healthy desire to succeed. It becomes unhealthy, however, when one or more students feels ostracized, belittled and afraid.
Indeed, I’ve seen cases where students have lost on purpose to dominant classmates in order to feel accepted.
One of the main problems riding instructors encounter is that we are not around our students 100 percent of the time. We cannot police their behavior outside the barn, and you might have students who attend the same church, school or other outside institution.
The only solution, therefore, is to encourage disclosure of any negative behavior.
Stopping the Problem
If you discover that your students are too competitive, there are a few things you can do immediately to help resolve the problem.
1. Cancel Competitions. If your students are too competitive to enjoy friendly competition, they don’t deserve to show. Cancel all upcoming competitions for all students until you have time to dissect the issue.
Educate Students. Your students might not at first realize the negative impact their behavior has on others. Hold a clinic or meeting in which you address healthy competition and sportsmanship. Illustrate how competitiveness can hurt someone else’s feelings.
Identify Habitual Offenders. If one student is consistently more competitive and creating an unhealthy atmosphere at the barn, that issue should be dealt with privately. You might want to meet with the student and his or her parents, but if the issue isn’t resolved, your only choice might be to suggest another stable.
Encourage Disclosure. Make sure your students know you are always available to talk—in private, if necessary. Institute an open-door policy for any student who feels as though he or she has been mistreated.
Competitiveness is a natural aspect of any sport or game, but it doesn’t have to get out of control. Riding instructors should know that this can happen and take steps to prepare for it.
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About the Author: Laura Jane Thompson is the Chief Equestrian Officer of Riding Instructor University and the Feature writer for the horses section at Suite101. She believes that any horse business can succeed provided its owner practices smart strategy.
