Regarding money, my daughter decided that if she ever ran an operation with her horses, she would get an outsider to be the money collector so she wouldn’t have to deal with it directly. Or rather than taking money physically, she could have it automatically drafted from bank accounts. I, too, don’t like to take money from people, which is why my husband collects rent payments from our rentals, and I don’t! The kids and I do so much volunteer work (with people and horses, both) that it isn’t in our nature to take money. But like you said, we need to “get over it” [if we don't wish to starve to death].

We will never jump for joy loudly over payments, though

And there are definitely biases among horse trainers and riding instructors who prefer certain breeds, colors, even genders. I recently received an e-mail from a young lady whose parents (with whom she worked at her stable) did not want her to buy mares for lesson horses because, in their eyes, geldings were the only way to go. It’s hard to offer advice on these things because some, like you, literally can’t escape it.

If I were in your shoes, the next time she insults your horses, I would say something along the lines of: “To each her own, but do you realize that every time you say that, you cut down my guys?” Keep it friendly, but it’s important to make it clear that her comments are unacceptable.

And they are. You’re paying for services, not for unsolicited criticism. If she’s not careful, she’ll drive all her clients away.

Alas, there is NO where else to go for lessons in my area. She is a good trainer and a good riding teacher… it’s the rest of the time she needs Etiquette 101. Anyway, this is a good learning experience for my teens on how NOT to be, and I mainly wrote this for any instructor out there who may think it’s okay to insult their clients or their horses/tack, or perhaps they don’t realize they do. I find it far worse in women than in men, as I travel around the country.

Wonder why that is.

My advice would be to let your instructor know her behavior bothers you. If she takes offense or if she refuses to change that behavior, it might behoove you to look elsewhere.

“I put the check in your logbook.” then… “Yaaaaay! Money! Money is good!”

That is just weird, I hate it, it’s rude, I hope you don’t do it. I have always paid without being asked, and have been there for a long time, but it’s like she’s still scared to death I won’t. Annoying, and that alone would send me some place else if there *were* some place else. I’m also sick of hearing that she doesn’t like the color, gender, breed, or names of my horses. grrrrrr… NEVER insult a client’s horse simply because it does not line up with your idea of perfection.

I don’t think her horses are attractive nor do I like their names, but I wouldn’t dream of saying so. TACT is probably the biggest thing I find lacking in horse instructors in general. Don’t bite the hands that feed you…